Ok so I've realized that most of my posts have had tough times as there backgrounds. Ive spoken a lot about the challenges and my emotions and used a lot of inspiring mottos to keep myself pushing... however as I read a section in one of my favorite books by the greatest author "Brendan Bunchard" i realized that I'm so busy focusing on whats next i always forget to celebrate what I have achieved.
In this chapter he gave an exercise to write down every big and every tiny success that you have achieved in this year. Things from dream goals, to simple tasks like maybe you did your tax return for yourself for the first time or you introduced yourself to a stranger and overcame your shyness. He spoke about a woman who had achieved everything she had ever dreamt of and was at a point in her life where she now felt useless. She said she had lost her ability to learn and grow and felt her determination and creative juices had been exhausted. When asked about her life she couldn't even recount any of the things she had achieved, they were meaningless to her. Yet many would look at her and dream of even having one singular part of her life .
He used this woman as an example for us all to be reminded not to be so harsh on ourselves, stop beating yourself down, open your eyes and remember to give yourself a pat on the back before waiting for approval. So I did his exercise and wrote out the successes I was proud of in these few months I had spent here and was so upset in myself asIi came to my third page of writing and realized just how much I had achieved and how little appreciationIi had given myself .
My list began with small things like simply becoming an adult!. For the first time in a brand new country I had worked for months driving and training around to look at different cars to find the right one, I had gone to mechanics had smog checks, called up insurance companies - all thingsIi had never done without my parents and all things i achieved by sticking my head down and doing it. had found a place to live, set up bank accounts, phone plans, found myself side jobs and organized my entire life alone. That was something to be proud of coming from the girl who still sits on her mummys lap and whose parents did everything for her, yes even still tucking me in (I'm not ashamed- laugh all you want.. I still have a teddy bear too) . I am quite outgoing and usually not very shy but as soon as i get around people who mean a lot to me i fall into a shell and become something else. On that list were several moments where i pushed myself to stay out, be confident and approach people and i had forgotten to mark that as a victory for myself.
I was focusing on the rejections that had left me feeling low instead of all the victories even when I didn't get the job. I auditioned for a show in Vegas for Katy Perry's choreographers and they let me miss two rounds so i could make my TVC call back because they were so pleased with me. Needless to say I was in shock and hyperventilating as id always dreamt of even being in the same room as these two !. I rushed back to head into the final round and then was kept back with all the ballroom stars off SYTYCD and Dancing with the Stars. I got a cha cha thrown at me and was so proud of myself and they were too. Their feedback and love sent me onto cloud 9 and I know one day the time will come when I can work hard in audition and hopefully be the right fit this time. I also filmed my first self tape and belted out two songs when i was put on hold for that which was a huge success for me but again id forgotten to pat myself on the back. Ive made it to the end of auditions which I absolutely did not feel the most comfortable in but committed to playing that character and even ended up being singled out in many and being kept back by myself to show more.
I had booked my first international TVC and spent a week living it up in my own trailer, stuffing myself on lush crafty and being driven around on a golf buggy. I had flown to alaska to perform in my first lead role as tiger lily in Peter Pan making some incredible friends that have become family an climbing glaciers and seeing mooses. I worked several times with internationally acclaimed Nappytabs. I worked with Andye J and was also put in her pieces with many beastly dancers including Laura Edwards and had to take a moment to stop and realize where i was. Kyle Hanagami has been my mentor the entire time I was lucky to work on a few projects with him and assist him in packed out classes and workshops which sometimes took my breath away as I danced by myself wrapped in a circle of dancers in the dim light at ML. He has pushed me daily and has been a huge impact on my growth and performance and I thank my lucky stars he took me in his arms . I used to watch all the youtube videos filmed at millennium and with my favorite dancers in them and now i was one of those girls !!
If you are reading this hope you make some time and do this exercise for yourself. I have no doubt you will be taken back by all the marvelous things you have learnt and achieved this year and every year for yourself. Don't forget to take it easy on yourself be grateful for every stone you step on in this path.
Sending much love and light to every one of you pushing daily to reach your full potential